For philosophy, dial 419

419 is the section in the Nigerian Penal Code supposedly prohibiting the circulation of false and misleading e-mails. I keep a collection of the most amusing ones I receive.

I don't really know if they are all from Nigeria or not. A lot of them seem to be from other places such as India and Russia. The other day I received one from Yasser Arafat's widow.

Some of the best ones read like the hidden poetry of a global age. In part this is because of the chain of nonsense words they sometimes include in the messages for reasons that having something to do with evading junk mail screening programs. But there is also joy in the sheer whimsy with which these letters treat English grammar when they are actually attempting to communicate to a "live person" (as we are quaintly known in cyberspace), contorting it, as they contort the official networks of legitimate commerce, for their own illicit ends.

Occassionally, the fountain of malapropisms in these letters spews forth a nugget of sheer found wisdom, such as this, which appeared today:

"My Good Friend,

I know you will see my letter to you as an embarrassment considering the fact that we do not know ourselves. "

Yes, I have to admit, we really do not know ourselves.